


Why do you force me so?

by Shyla_skye64



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Blood and Torture, F/M, Female Reader, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jesse Was Being A Dick, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, just let her die, more suicide attempts, reader has wings, self inflicted blood and torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-09 00:05:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyla_skye64/pseuds/Shyla_skye64
Summary: This is written in your POV. You are an 18-year-old girl who ends up having powers that you can't control. You believe that no one understands you after being taken in and decide that your life is too painful to keep living so you try to hurt yourself though you would never be allowed to die.





	1. Why do such things happen to me?

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is going to have a lot of blood and gore cuz I feel like it so don't judge. also, pronouns such as I, me, we, us, and my are talking about you not me necessarily.

Why do such things always happen to me? I hate that when people are "doing what's best for me they are more thinking about how they will end up feeling in the end always leaving me on the floor crying out in frustration as things never helped my case. I couldn't help but reminisce back to how my family thought they were making me a better person and helping me to achieve your goals in life by forcing me to study and be in advanced classes that I wasn't ready for and the only people there for me were my best friends who understood how I felt because they were going through the same thing. But then the worst possible thing happened on a field trip we were on the bus headed to the city for a historic tour that was mandatory so we all had to go. I wanted the aisle seat so that I could talk to everyone around me and further. Everyone on the bus was very close to me until it all came to an abrupt end... 

 

It was sudden...the bus flipped all the way over like a turtle stuck on its back I never heard a thing because on the first blow to my head I was out like a light. When I awoke I felt a cold wetness and realized that somehow I ended up in a river even though I don't ever recall being close to any major rivers but that was not something I should be worrying about at the moment I should be finding a way out before the bus filled as I thought about my exits I finally remembered  **WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS!?** I haven't seen a single soul at all since I awoke I thought hopefully they all got out and they are all waiting for me forgetting for a second that I was with them, but somehow deep inside I knew that there was no way that was true because all the exits were sealed and not a single alarm was going off but all the windows had completely and utterly broken enough for a full grown man to fit through so there was no way an 18-year-old couldn't fit through. But why there was no one left was still the question going through my head. 

 

OMG! I forgot that I was trying to escape death but what's the point if all my friends were dead. The water was already filled to almost the top leaving only a small air pocket for a few seconds. I don't know why but at the moment my head went under I began to think about Overwatch the group of awesome heroes that fights amazing battles against Talon I didn't know that much about them but I had seen a bunch of their posters around. As the black vignette began getting smaller I began to feel someone grab me as a couldn't hold my breath any longer and I passed out a second time in 5 minutes. 

 

\--

 

_beep. beep. beep..._

 

I awoke in a room that didn't look familiar to any other I had been in before which immediately let me know I was not anywhere I have heard of. Then I heard a noise and tried to get my head under the blanket but when I tried to move my arm it hurt like hell I tried to hold back a scream by biting my lips closed. Then a woman with blonde hair rushed in as my heart rate rose. She looked...almost like...an angel. I saw her and immediately settled down. she was so pretty sometimes I wish I could be that pretty but it was an unrealistic dream that would never happen. 

 

"Hello there child,..." she said with an accent you didn't recognize "...please calm down you have nothing to fear," she said with a calm voice. Then a tall more muscular man who wore a lot of blacks and a beanie strolled in and stared at me. "Well now you do." she began with a sigh. "This is commander Reyes..." He gave a little wave to me with no hint at even attempting a smile. I just looked back at her not sure what to call her expecting her to answer me "Oh! I am the medic here I am Angela Ziegler but you can call me doc or Mercy" she said with a smile. 

 

The man just walked up to your bed and looked down at me and then he did the unexpected...The man grabbed the cover that you were under to reveal that you weren't wearing any of my own clothes that I was previously wearing instead I wore a revealing sports bra and spandex shorts. I hadn't even noticed the change of clothing. He looked down at my body and I suddenly remembered all the scars I had on my body fresh or old I remembered them all. My family practically forced me to remember and never forget a single lesson and how could I with all the marks left all over my skin? I can't believe my father would do such things to his only daughter. 

 

I scrambled to hide from his sight but my effort was futile as the damage was done "How did this happen?" he asked. I shrugged my shoulders in hopes he would let the subject go "What is your name?" "Y-Y\n" I stuttered "Y\n...who did this to you, I know you can talk now." I looked down at my hand. "I don't want to talk about it," I said my voice was wavering a bit. "YOU NEED TO TELL ME THIS VERY MINUTE YOUNG LADY!!!!!" I flinched as he began to shout suddenly another male came rushing in "Woah there what's all the yellin' 'bout?" he asked almost like a cowboy. "Get out of the way McCree the commander warned, "Can't ya see yer scaring the poor girl out o' her mind?" They both turned to look at me trying to curl into a ball reminiscing how I got all my scars, tears forming in my eyes. When I realized they were both staring at me and my attempts to gain comfort through my pain from my past I tried to smile through my pain. 

 

"W-why are you staring at me?" They widened their eyes remembering that they were staring at me sympathetically as if I had done something that they knew hurt. I just looked away trying to avoid their glances. "I'm sorry I tried to push you, it was out of place but you need to remember the spot you're in McCree" McCree nodded at the commander who was turning to leave after giving you one last painful glance. However, McCree stayed just standing there I hadn't noticed before but he had a metal arm. 

 

Then Mercy walked in I hadn't noticed her walk out though, she was carrying a tray full of food that she handed to me and simply said "Eat up you'll need it" which had me tense because McCree was still here before I could say anything she was already gone. I looked down at the food she brought me and there was so much I didn't think I could eat it all. But I did and McCree watched it all. I felt like a pig. "So that's what two weeks without food 'll do to a girl huh?" he said in his accent. I couldn't believe my ears, I was really out for two weeks? "I was out for that long?" "like a light darlin'" OMFG I can't believe it was that long. 

 

"Yea well ya kinda did almost drown and ya were thrown around a bus like a ragdoll and ya had a ton o' glass shards dug in yer skin and ya most likely hit yer head a few times shall I go on?"

 

"I guess you have a point there but why did it take so long?" 

 

"Oh, darlin' can't we talk 'bout somin' different?" 

 

"Okay, where are we?"

 

"No one told you?" 

 

"Well, I didn't really ask."

 

"Yer at an official Overwatch base"

 

"Wait really?"

 

"Well since we have now talked about something else do you mind telling me how I got here?" 

 

"Why are you avoiding the question, McCree? what happened?"

 

"It's kinda a long story that I would rather not tell why don't ya ask Mercy I'm sure she'll be willing to talk to you about it all," he said as he left me. 

 

\--

 

I still had no idea where I was. But I talked to Mercy and she said that I was very different than everyone else on the bus but I didn't understand and she just left me at that. McCree would visit me a lot we would talk he told me about him and how he ended up here and that he wasn't exactly a model citizen and how he was about my age when he ended up here too. I ended up letting him hear my story and how I got all my scars and bruises. I guess you could say that we became close friends within like 3 days, and I finally got my own 

 

\--

 

"McCree,..." He turned away from watching the channel to look at me and let out a hum.

 

"Why can't I leave here?" He just looked down at his hands and let out a big sigh.

 

"Do ya really wanna know?"

 

"obviously or else I wouldn't ask the question, McCree now would I?"

 

"I suppose not. In that case, do ya want the long version or the short version?" 

 

"I don't care just tell me please?"

 

"It all started when we heard of a bombin' on a bridge..." I didn't even realize we were on a bridge."...heard there was a small body sent flyin' on fire through the air into the water apparently that was you. Commander Morrison said he went to grab ya and that he noticed somethin' when he pulled ya out o' the water."

 

"...And what would that be?"

 

"He noticed that ya didn't have any burns on ya and even if ya did by the time we got back they were all gone."

 

"What does that mean?"

 

"That means that yer definitely NOT normal that's for sure."

 

"That doesn't answer my question though."

 

"I'm gettin' there okay?"

 

"Hurry up!"

 

"Well while ya were still asleep two of the commanders who are really good friends actually decide to take some tests which are why it took so long for you to wake up. I heard of things happening like you growin' wings and hallucinations of the people in a certain radius of you. Like your dreams or something. but unlike Mercy yer wings are genuine."

 

I blushed a little at the way he looked at me with awe in eyes.

 

"They said they people who coulda been yer friends or an old memory of good times in yer life. In other words, ya got yerself some special powers ya obviously can't control"

 

"How?"

 

"We don't know where they could have come from, but we do know that yer the only one here with natural powers."

 

"That still doesn't answer my question."

 

"Well, after seeing yer transformation and illusions Reyes, Morrison, Amari, and Mercy all decided that you would stay so that they could monitor ya."

 

"Okay..." I said with a frown dawning on my face.

 

"Now we get to the subject I wish I didn't have to bring up to ya...which would be the explosion. I know for a fact this will not make ya happy." He looked down at his hands and didn't look up. "I'm sorry to tell ya this but...none of yer friends made it, all of them were incinerated along with the bus."

 

"How could that be? I told you I tried to get out of the bus then passed out."   

 

"You remember how you woke up the first time ya met us?"

 

"Yeah, my arm was broken but apparently it wasn't cuz I'm not hurt anymore."

 

"Well you were hurt but..."

 

"You did it to yourself," a new voice inquired. 

 

I whipped my head around trying to get a glimpse of who had said it. 

 

"Ah, Commander Morrison how nice of ya to finally stop by," McCree remarked. 

 

"Well, I'm sorry if I have been busy McCree," He said his voice was lower than expected. "Anyway your self-inflicted injuries are due to the alternate realities you create which is another power you have. That explains why you thought you were in a bus when I grabbed you. We think that you create alternate realities when you are in trouble or as a way of coping with what is really going on."

 

"I-I don't...I-I. M-My whole life could have been a lie even this that's happening right now?" 

 

"Maybe,...We really don't know what is real with ya around anymore." McCree added.

 

"There is another reason you can't leave here," McCree just looked down sadly. 

 

"what would that be?"

 

McCree spoke up "We don't know what you would do yerself."

 

"What?!"

 

"Somehow a long ranged broadcast that covered the whole base came from you showed you bleeding out on the floor with a knife in your hand and a gun on the floor a few feet away..." The commander answered. 

 

"If we set you free we don't know how you could end up." McCree offered his voice beginning to waver. 

 

"I'm sorry but I don't you'll be able to leave soon." The commander said leaving the room.

 

"Just the sight of yer limp body brings tears to my eyes everyone here is sorry that ya had to go through so much. I'm sorry it took so long to tell ya." A single tear fell on his hand. 

 

"I remember the dream you're talking about now. I'm sorry that you had to see that. Now I have my answer, thank you, McCree."

 

"No Problem darlin'"

 

"Don't cry,..." I reached out to him and when one of his hit my skin I felt so weird,...I felt...lighter. When I looked at myself I knew what they were talking about I had...wings?


	2. Soaring?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess I should learn to use these things, shouldn't I?

I woke though I don't remember falling asleep.

 

It seemed as though I was in the infirmary. . . again. Jesse was asleep there too. _Not that he was injured._  I still wondered why I was there. The last thing I remembered was Jesse. . . crying. The thought brought up his face as his brought up mine. I remember seeing my wings and telling him not to cry, but that was all I could remember. 

 

I decided to let Jesse sleep and left to look for Mercy so I could ask her why I was here. She just said that McCree brought me here and that he thought I passed out from exhaustion when I just keeled over after seeing my wings but I had no idea. 

 

Then Commander Reyes came in and he told me to meet him in his office. 

 

\--

 

Jesse came into my room and I told him about what the Commander said to me. "He wants me to learn how to control it. Jesse, I need your help. Please help me learn?"

 

"Anything for you Angel," He said with a smug smirk.

 

"Oh is that my pet name Cowboy?" I said returning the look. 

 

"Please don't ever do that to me again understand?" I gave him a confused look. 

 

"I can't worry about something I don't know about Jesse," I looked at him concerned. 

 

"I don't wanna think about it right now okay?" 

 

"You look like you had a lot of sleepless nights are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine ya worry too much about other people"

 

"Maybe I'm like Mercy in that way" He just gave me a doofy smile "There's that cowboy who I know so much" I kissed his cheek and walked away "Meet me in the gym at 2300 hours got it? Get some rest, Woody." I laughed out loud comparing him to the cartoon. 

 

"Hey! come here you!" He chased after me but he forgot how well rested I was compared to him. I ran in my room and he unknowingly fell straight into my trap he ran in and I tackled him and he yelped. It was absolutely adorable, he didn't seem to think so though. 

 

"Hey! Don't you ever do that again!" I gave him puppy-dog eyes and pouted. "Aww, why not?"

 

"Ya scared the livin' shit outta me! and never call me Woody." I couldn't help but giggle. He couldn't help but blush. 

 

"Alright, Cowboy, you need a nap." 

 

"You say that like I'm a little kid" 

 

"Well, you damn well are acting like one Jesse!"

 

"Fine, I'll meet ya in the gym angel." 

 

"Good." 

 

\--

 

It was 11:00 or 2300 hours military time and Jesse still wasn't here yet. "Where is he?"

 

"Who are you waiting for?" An unfamiliar voice called and got me startled. 

 

"uh. . ." 

 

"Oh, that was rude of me I don't think you have ever met me before, have you?"

 

"I don't think so," 

 

"I'm Lúcio Correia dos Santos, you can just call me Lucio," he said almost shyly. 

 

"My name is Y/n, but some people call me Angel for reasons I think everyone knows now."

 

"Oh, you're the girl everyone was talking about, huh." 

 

"Yeah, I guess,"

 

"Hey, Angel sorry fer bein' late I overslept and you were right I really needed th-" He cut himself short seeing me with Lúcio. 

 

"What's wrong McCree?" I asked not knowing that he was jealous. 

 

"Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything sorry to barge in," now that was the Jesse I knew he was being real petty now. 

 

"Oh, please spare me I am leaving then good luck, Angel," Lúcio said leaving the gym. 

 

"Now look what you've done you made him sad, you can be a real jerk sometimes you know?"

 

"Sorry did I ruin something fer ya?"

 

"Cowboy, can you please just do what I really need your help for?"

 

"Geez, you are so cruel." 

 

"Jesse!" He just left me there. I melted into the mats defeated. 

 

\--

 

I didn't think he would be a protective, possessive person, but God did it fit him. I had only known him for a few weeks!! I think he thought my kiss before was for real and not a tease but I never expected him to act like that. I went for my weekly checkup since I was trying to find the source of my power I was drained. 

 

I was forced to train with Strike Commander Morrison and Blackwatch Commander Reyes. I hadn't seen Jesse in three days and I was worried I had no idea what it was that I said to make him avoid me like this. It made me feel really bad. 

 

\--

 

It was really late on a Saturday and the base was really quiet other than the sound of a punching bag in the gym. I went to the gym to see if there was anything there for me to eat I just sat on the counter and stared at a blade I found in the drawer thinking about that dream that everyone had seen. That was when I first started thinking that no one cared not even the one I cared for most here cared, he didn't think I was worth it and neither did I. I was better off dead and that way I could see everyone I lost to that accident that threw my life downhill. 

 

I looked at the blade and wondered how it would feel to break through my flesh. I thought it was a pretty knife that I would soon coat with my own blood but no one would know I was gone. I brought the knife back to my own room playing with the tips and edges. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I was listening to the Spirit Soundtrack while writing this one.

**Author's Note:**

> self harm to come.


End file.
